There is a passage in the New Testament where Jesus states, “You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye” Matthew 7:5. For several decades now I have analyzed and often reflected on my failed relationships. Of course, no one is completely to blame, it is not a one-sided transaction when the Bible says “all fall short…” it applies to all parties.
Recently I was able to see past the log in my own eye, once the new perspective came into full view, I felt it, I owned it, to be cleansed I must confess, as the Bible writer states, “Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much” James 5:16.
After decades, I need healing, I need the past forgiven, I need the power of the Gospel to change me from within. This is not only true for me, I see it everywhere, I see it in my peers, in the men around me, the men that came before me, and the ones being raised up now. We have a blind spot, we are not well, we need the healing that comes from confessed sin.
When James penned verse 5:16, he states, “therefore”, therefore what? In verse 14 we see it, “Is anyone among you sick?...” In the original, the word for sick is the Greek verb “astheneó” meaning; “to be ill, without strength; to languish.”
I have been languishing the hurt from failed marriages for far too long. I have not had the strength up until now to deal with precisely was the procuring cause of much pain and weakness in my life. This is not a superficial, “just let it go” or “forgive and move on.” That has already been done, perhaps even seventy times seven. The log I saw around, what I saw in the Scripture dug deep into my soul. It began several months ago when I found myself in a Sunday school class at church where the teacher was also my professor in college. We were studying the opening verses of Genesis and he made the observation that when men do nothing, chaos follows. I sat uneasily in the class and thought much about my nothingness. Now, it would be easy to justify my life, I work, I take care of my kids, I do much, maybe even more than many people, but, do I move toward the chaos, do I hover over the darkness in my world, and bring the Light?
The answer is very alarming, when I realized what God instructed man just before the fall, it really impacted me in a way I did not expect. “For this reason, a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” Genesis 2:24. Did you see it, it is the word “joined.” In the original language the word used was dabaq, defined as; “to cling, cleave, keep close,” if you continue with the definitions and how it is used from the Hebrew definitions, as to how it was used throughout the Old Testament, the man will “cleaves, cling, clings, closely pursued, closer, clung, deeply attracted, fasten its grip, follow closely, held fast, hold, hold fast, holding fast, joined, joined together, overtake, overtook, pursued closely, pursued them closely, remained steadfast, stay, stay close, stayed close, stick, stick together, stuck.” So I ask myself, did I move toward the chaos in my relationships like Genesis 2:24 commanded? The answer is simple, no.
For two decades I have studied a passage in the Bible, 1 Timothy 3:2, the message of this passage is about the qualifications of an overseer in the church. I was always hung up on “be the husband of one wife.” I am currently the husband of no wife. But, be that as it may, the next phrase, “must be above reproach” in the original language the definition is; “without blame in light of the whole picture.” That is where the divorced man must ask, did he cling to his wife? According to Genesis 2:24? For me, no, I am not above reproach. And the pattern is set, I repeated the same thing: not moving toward the chaos but withdrawing from it. Stonewalling is when someone remains silent, they are physically there, but emotionally, they are unavailable. That is my character defect, it is my sin.
We often skip straight to, “was there marital infidelity?” No, I was not unfaithful in that way, but, considering the view I see from the log being removed, I know that I was not faithful to the promise of “...cling to his wife.”
Sin confessed, praying for forgiveness of the sin of hypocrisy, for healing, for no other reason than to live with a cleansed heart, having the peace of Christ dwell in my heart. Oh, it is good to allow God’s Spirit through the Word to remove the log in your eye.
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